What Matters More?


Some of the challenges I’ve endured as an adult are the result of experiences with friends or family while growing up. Interestingly these challenges aren’t because I didn’t make the A Team, didn’t get to wear the nicest clothes, nor are they the result of not having the nicest home.

As parents we can become so fixated on things that consume most of our time, energy and attention, yet these things have very little to do with raising our children to become healthy adults. 

What Consumes Your Time?

We want to give our family the best opportunities and experiences. As these become our focus, we sadly lose out on what matters more, time and relationship with one another. 

We make time to multisport our kids, but we don’t make time for dinner together. 

We take overtime hours, but we don’t take an hour for date night. 

We spend money on a newer home and nicer clothes, but we don’t spend time in God’s word.

We invest financially but we’re not investing relationally in our kids. 

What Matters More

When I was in my 20s what mattered more than anything was business. I loved the idea of being in business. It was a place of safety and security as I wanted to build something that could serve and support others while simultaneously giving me time to be with my kids. As the years passed by I could serve others well but it came at a sacrifice to my family. This hurt, me and them. 

Now that I’m in my late 30s I realize more and more what matters most in life is relationship.

Relationship in marriage. 

Relationship with our children, especially our teens. 

Relationship with our children’s friends. 

Relationship with Jesus. 

Relationship with family and friends. 

And yet this is what’s breaking apart more and more in our culture. My husband and I have a relatively healthy marriage because we work at it. We struggle well when we fight the good fight for one another. We suffer when we fight against one another. 

We’ve endured seasons where our faith is low and our frustrations are high. During these times we’re both managing so many other areas of our lives. We leave very little time and energy for one another. And our relationship suffers. 

Not Granted. Only Gained.

We tend to expect our faith, health, marriage, and kids to thrive though we hardly put enough effort in for these areas to even survive. 

Relationship. Love. Connection. Vulnerability. Intimacy.  These things cannot granted, only gained. We gain them through what we give, not what we get. 

If your relationships are struggling here are a few questions for you. 

What are you doing to ENHANCE your key relationships with your spouse and your children?

If you consider yourself a believer, what are you doing to ADVANCE your relationship with God?

What are you doing to INFLUENCE positive relationships outside your home?

What are you doing to gain influence, connection, vulnerability and intimacy in your key relationships? If it’s not much, what do you need to start doing? What do you need to stop doing? Choose one thing to start and one thing to stop. Today.

Committed to You! 

Kristine Rustand 


Kristine Rustand is a Master Health Coach with EmpowerWays. Everything we do is about empowering you to live a healthier, happier life. You can follow EmpowerWays on Facebook and Instagram. If you want to know how Health Coaching can help you live a healthier, happier life contact Kristine today. EmpowerWays@gmail.com